intentional living Archives - Arrow Hill Cottage

Thoughts on contentment

It is almost impossible to be genuinely grateful for anything, when you compare to others. Today I am going to share with you my thoughts on contentment, and why it is a topic that is currently on my mind.

As I write this now – the stuffy, sticky, hotness of a mid-July afternoon surrounds me. I sit in a house that was built pre-central air conditioning, and long for the ability to flip a switch and make things more comfortable for myself. We have lived here for nearly five years. Five years in a house that I am quick to point out is ‘just a rental.’ Five years in a house that hasn’t ever truly felt like home.

And I will admit, as time has gone on it has become clear that the level of content with our living arrangements has been steadily decreasing. Not only for myself, but for the entire family. Lately, I’ve been asking myself ‘why.’

BEING CONTENT WHILE LOOKING AHEAD

When we first moved into this house, everyone was beyond excited. We had just sold the home we owned – in part, to fund the adoption of our youngest daughter, ‘M.’ Preparing for her arrival, we nested here. Painting walls, fixing sinks, and choosing bed linens. We were looking forward to a happy little future, and our present living condition didn’t seem all that bad. So what has changed? It’s still the same house.

Part of me feels like this mind shift has a lot to do with the ‘new house’ being just beyond the horizon. We are seeing something shiny, and we want to get to it as soon as possible. Our entire family is constantly daydreaming about what is to come. “In the new house we are going to (fill in the blank).” “I can’t wait until we have (fill in the blank) at the new house.”

And although looking ahead is a fun to do, it can also be a bit defeating. Surely, you have heard the phrase:

“Stop missing out on the present because you are focused on the future.”

So, is that it? Is contentment simply being happy with where you are? Never longing for an upgrade, a steadier state or a better future for yourself and your family? No, I don’t think so.

While that is a nice sentiment, I believe it is simply an impossible goal. Because even in the present, there are those people with the last name Jones. And we have an inherent desire to keep up with them.

CONTENTMENT WHILE COMPARING

I recently shared this article from Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist on my Facebook page. Doing so opened up what I feel was a healthy dialoge about what we choose to bring into our lives, and how it affects contentment.

I definitely encourage you to read the piece for yourself, but the cliff note – take away question is simple. What would this world be like if, instead of being embarrassed by the things we own – those things that don’t stack up to what society tells us we need – we were instead embarrassed by how worldly that view really is?

When I linked to the article in my Facebook post, I also made a simple confession. That I too have been the victim of embarrassment by comparison. Most specifically in regards to our old blue mini van. You see, this van has been with us since before we had children. It still runs quite smoothly, but the body is – how do you say – in disrepair. There are times when I pull into a packed parking lot and scan the rows, noticing all too easily that the vehicle I am driving is the odd duck out.

The responses to my confession post were a mixed bag. Half of the people were comforting – letting me know that they too had old vehicles, with many miles, and rust. Solidarity sister! The other half were a tad defensive, and quick to point out why they owned newer vehicles. For safety, reliability, or other reasons.

Everyone experiences jealousy…

Whichever side of the fence that people were on, I think it’s fair to say that everyone who responded to my post has had a similar feeling of jealousy. This day in age it is almost impossible not to play the comparison game. Keeping up with the Joneses has never been so difficult.

Mr. Becker would say, about my van scenario – that instead of being embarrassed about the van itself, be embarrassed at how often the luxury of having a vehicle is taken for granted. That mindset can really turn the tables on the feeling of jealousy, can’t it?

We live in a majorly privileged society. The salary of most Americans would put them in the top 1% of the world’s earners. Compared to the lives of people in other countries, we Americans are down right rich when it comes to worldly goods.

This brought about another question. Should those who have plenty be more content than those with little?

THE ATTITUDE OF CONTENTMENT

As you know, I have somewhat recently begun to embrace the minimalist tendencies I have had my entire life. Not because I think that living with less makes me a better person, or more content. But because, in having fewer things, there is an appreciation of each item unlike anything I have experienced before.

However, in no way is my family living an uncomfortable or deprived life. We have many luxuries that some can only dream of. Our dinner plates have always had a supply of healthy food. We are building a brand new, custom designed house for gosh sake. These circumstances though, could change in an instant.

Focus on the Family offers the definition of contentment that I, as a Christian, agree with most:

“Contentment is knowing God’s plan for your life, having a conviction to live it, and believing that His peace is greater than the world’s problems”

That’s it. Contentment is an attitude, not something that is searched for. If we spent our lives searching for contentment, we would never find it – in part because of comparison, and jealousy, and our human nature to always long for more/better.

In life, there will be good times and bad times. Days of plenty, and days of few. New cars, old cars. New homes, old homes. A full bank account and money worries. Sickness, health. It’s all a possibility. In order to truly be content, we need to harbor an attitude and belief that we are walking the path we are meant to walk, and trusting in Him along the way.

And so, moving forward, I will be carrying the words that Horatio Spafford penned in one of my all time favorite hymns, “It Is Well With My Soul.”

When peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well, with my soul

If this post got you thinking, consider reading more from my Intentional Living series.

SCREEN FREE FAMILY DAY | DAY IN THE LIFE

As part of our journey to simplify life, my husband and I have been trying very hard to be intentional about the time we spend with our family. In this post, I share how we have been implementing screen free family day as part of our transition to a more peaceful household.

At the beginning of the year, we had the idea to dedicate one day each month as intentional family time. In order to be fully present, we also decided that we would be turning off all screens for that day. This includes watching television, visiting social media channels, or checking our phones.

Now that we have successfully completed screen free family day three months in a row, I want to share with you the insights that we have noticed.

OUR FAMILY DYNAMIC

First, if you are new here, a little background on our family. We would be considered a large family by today’s standard, with five children. Our oldest son is 12, and our youngest, a daughter, is 5. All of our children are exposed to technology on a regular basis, and have been taught to use it safely.

We have been careful to teach them that technology should be used as a tool and not a crutch. They also have been told that though it can be enjoyable, it is also an easy thing to abuse and consume too much of. As such, we are careful to monitor their activity and limit their time in front of screens. By doing so, we hope to help them become responsible technology users.

WHY SCREEN FREE?

Craig and I had begun to notice that we were being more and more lenient with screen time, and found some negative side effects. Our youngest son, for example, was beginning to exhibit poor behavior and attitude. Our girls would argue about which tv show to watch together. We felt these changes were directly related to the amount of time spent in front of the screen.

Knowing that it was our job, as their parents, to do some redirecting – we had an idea. We would start a screen free family day. Our first goal for this is to have a screen free day once per month. Ultimately, it would be wonderful to have one day per week as a reset day.

INCORPORATING A SCREEN FREE FAMILY DAY

When we first brought up the idea to the kids, they were skeptical. They saw it as a punishment instead of something that could be beneficial. But once we insisted that the entire family would be involved, including us as parents, they were excited.

As a family, we sat down and wrote out ideas of things to do together. We decided that family day, though different each time, would include the following categories:

CHORE

Knowing the value of hard work, we wanted to incorporate a chore that we could all do together. We try to find a chore that will benefit us as a family. On the list are ideas such as raking leaves, chopping firewood, deep cleaning a room inside, and planting a garden.

MEAL PREPARATION

Our kids all enjoy spending time in the kitchen. I will admit though, that at times when they ask to help I turn them down. Mainly, I justify that cooking the meals will be faster and less of a hassle if I do it on my own. However, as part of screen free family day, we are opening up the kitchen and getting everyone involved. We have been rotating through the kids, asking them for meal suggestions each month.

We have seen some interesting suggestions already, such as a chili hamburger meal.

DEVOTION

As a Christian family, we find that it is very important to stay in God’s word. We try to tailor our devotion to topics we are dealing with as a family. This is a great time for us to all discuss, and maybe resolve some pressing issues. We find that even our youngest children are capable expressing their feelings and emotions in a group setting.

QUIET TIME

On screen free family day, we make it a point to reserve a bit of time for the house to be still. This is a great opportunity to take a nap, write a letter to a friend, or read a book. I have really come to look forward to quiet time and the peace it brings. It feels wonderful to allow our brains to rest from any chaos or commotion we may be facing.

FUN ACTIVITY

Of all the categories, this has been the most fun for the kids to sink their teeth into. We have quite the list of activities they want us to do together. Hiking, water fights, bowling, playing at a park, and going out for ice cream are a few examples.

WHAT DOES A SCREEN FREE FAMILY DAY LOOK LIKE?

During a recent family day, we made a screen exception so that I could film with my camera. Take a glimpse at a ‘day in the life’ of our family on a screen free family day.

THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED SO FAR

Through our first three months of implementing screen free family day, we have learned so much. We are quickly finding out what works best for us, and what we need to avoid.

KIDS ARE HAPPIER IN OUR PRESENCE

We have definitely noticed that our kids enjoy the company of their parents. Of course, we have always known that, but the fact that they have our full attention, without distractions, has been really special.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE INVOLVED

We think it is very important to make sure everyone is involved in all aspects of family day. Though some of the kids may moan a bit about having to take out the garbage or help with a meal, we make sure that they participate. By making sure everyone is involved, we are instilling in our children that as a family we can work through the good times, as well as the bad. The easy, as well as the difficult. We are in this together.

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE FANCY

Knowing that we can just lounge around in our PJ’s all day is just exciting for the kids as telling them we are going out for dinner. Sometimes the most simple moments are the cherished ones.

LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF SCHEDULING

Though it is good to have a general idea of how the day will play out, we are acknowledging that we also need to leave room for spontaneity. The element of ‘anything can happen’ is very exciting for kids. One of the best memories we have made so far during screen free family day was an impromptu sledding trip. The kids asked if we could go, and we had no reason to say no – so we did! It was a blast!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR A SCREEN FREE FAMILY DAY

Check out these additional blog posts for tips on how to effectively go screen free.

10 Screen Free Alternatives For Night Time Winding Down | the pragmatic parent

Getting Through The Day Screen Free | peaceful parents, confident kids

100+ Screen Free Activities For Teens | thinking kids

How To Unplug A Plugged In Kid | andrea’s notebook

PIN THESE IDEAS

I hope that this information has been helpful for you, especially if you are considering a screen free family day of your own. Pin these ideas for future reference!

NO SPEND MONTH | UPDATE + TIPS

In this post, I discuss important tips for a successful no spend month. Our family just finished one and, although there were some big challenges, it was a great learning experience.

I spent the month of January, along with my friend and fellow blogger Shannon Torrens, focusing on not buying anything new. It was a logical step to take, while we work on decluttering our rental house – in preparation for our big move. Later in this article, I will give an update on how our month went. First though, I want to encourage you if you are thinking of doing a no spend month for yourself.

TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL NO SPEND MONTH

Before you embark on your own no spend month, I recommend that you take into account the following tips.

CHART YOUR TYPICAL EXPENSES

Whether you budget or not, it is going to be important to have an idea about how much you spend in a typical month. This information will be especially helpful at the end of the month, to see how much you saved. Knowing that you are saving money might give you a boost of motivation.

In a future post, I will discuss how our family does budgeting using the free app Everydollar. Most of our budget categories don’t change, dollar wise, from month to month. The four categories that are the most variable for our family include: auto/gas, groceries, restaurant, and miscellaneous. Because of this, we chose to chart the expenses for these four categories before going into our no spend month – with the hope that we would see some savings.

SET THE RULES

It is unlikely that anyone’s ‘no spend month’ actually means not spending a single cent. That would be basically impossible. Rent needs to be paid, utilities have to be kept up to date. And, of course, you and your family are going to need to eat. The great news is that you can make up your own rules for a no spend month.

Our rules were pretty simple. You can read about them in this post. Essentially, our main goal was to bring nothing NEW into our home. That meant that we were free to spend money on food and restaurants, if we chose. It also meant that consumable items, such as shampoo and toilet paper, could be purchased.

START WITH AN OPEN MIND

Knowing that you COULD be purchasing something, yet holding back, can be a difficult thing to do. For that reason, I recommend that you think about this month as a learning experience above anything else. An experience that will help you understand your buying patterns.

If you start the month simply thinking about all the restrictions that lay ahead, you may find yourself more frustrated than you need to be.

Likewise, it is important to note that things won’t go perfectly as planned. If unexpected purchases arise that you simply can’t avoid, or if you slip up and buy something that you weren’t supposed to, don’t despair. Know that one false move shouldn’t derail the entire plan. In those instances, be prepared to pick yourself up and start again. This is where having an accountability partner is key. They can help you stay on the path to success. Shannon was mine, and it was great to take on the challenge together.

OUR NO SPEND MONTH

As I mentioned earlier, during the month of January, our family worked hard to not spend any money – specifically on any new THING. There were a few hiccups along the way, but ultimately we learned a lot of useful information about our spending habits.

WHAT WENT WRONG

Starting this challenge on the first of January seemed to be a logical choice. With Christmas over, we knew that our expenses would probably be down. In addition, the start of the new year gave us an extra boost of motivation.

Unfortunately, the month of January also brought with it severely cold weather to Minnesota, where we live. And it just so happens that only two days into the challenge, the battery in one of our vans was found dead when we went to start it. Ironically, two weeks later our other van’s battery also needed replacing. In total, we ended up spending over three hundred dollars on replacements.

Though it wasn’t fun dealing with those unexpected expenses, the batteries were indeed necessary. And delaying the purchase of them was not an option.

I also had a minor purchase slip up. A friend of mine started selling handmade watercolor paintings, and I purchased one for the girl’s bedroom. It wasn’t until after I sent her the money that I remembered that this would be considered a breech of the rules. Thankfully, she was kind and told me she would hold onto the art piece until the challenge was over – as not to add an extra item to the house.

WHAT WENT RIGHT

From the start of the month, we kept a record of any item that was a potential purchase. It was our intent that we would keep the list, to make the purchases in February. Interestingly though, quite a few of those items ended up getting crossed out. We either realized we didn’t actually need them, or found something similar that could be used in it’s place!

We were very careful to stay out of the stores. I actually think that is one of the biggest keys to success during a no spend month. I typically have a habit of going into one of the big box stores for one of two consumable products, and then becoming distracted. Suddenly, I find myself leaving the store with quite a few unnecessary items. During the month of January, I am happy to report that I did not enter Target a single time – and Walmart only once!

Even the kids got in on the action. They had received gift cards from family at Christmas. While normally they would be begging us to take them to the stores, this time they were much more patient. They recognized that we were holding off on making purchases and figured they could too.

In fact, when the month was up we went into the stores to do a little window shopping. Only one of our five kids ended up making a purchase. The rest decided to save the money for something they really want. It made us happy to know that the no spend month was a great learning experience for them as well.

THE BOTTOM LINE

If you have read this far you may be asking yourself one question. How much money did you save? Because we tracked all of our expenses, I am able to break that all down for you!

Essentially, we were looking at our four most variable categories: auto, groceries, restaurants, and miscellaneous. Here are the details on how the month of January compared to an average of the three previous months (December, November and October).

AUTO

As mentioned earlier, this budget item was most affected. Those two car batteries were large ticket items we definitely weren’t looking at spending money on.

Auto budget average over past 3 months: $202. Amount spent in auto budget during January: $468

That means that we overspent in this category by about $266. A bummer, yes. But like I mentioned, they were necessary purchases. The good news is that the batteries are high quality, and should last for quite a while.

GROCERIES

Our grocery amount stayed pretty consistent throughout the no spend month. One thing I did try to do was use up pantry items and canned goods. In the end, we were ahead in this category only slightly.

Grocery budget average over past 3 months: $815. Amount spent on groceries during January: $790.

A tiny savings of $25 in this category.

RESTAURANTS

Because we have a large family, we tend not to eat out very often. It is just too expensive. One meal out can be over one hundred dollars easily. That being said, we do enjoy the occasional treat night out and do keep a line item in our budget for restaurant expenses.

Restaurant budget average over past 3 months: $146. Amount spent on restaurant food in January: $130

Another tiny savings of $16.

MISCELLANEOUS

This is the meat and potatoes portion of this challenge. Where the other categories do not typically involve ITEMS to purchase, this category has a lot of wiggle room. The miscellaneous budget includes toiletries, clothing, kid field trips, and a whole slew of other things. It is the category that has the most grey area, and the budget item that gets the most abuse each month if we aren’t careful. It is easy to overspend in miscellaneous.

I was happy to see that making more intentional purchases really made a difference in this category during our no spend month.

Miscellaneous budget average over past 3 months: $890. Amount spent on miscellaneous items in January: $330.

That is a HUGE savings of $560!

With all the categories added together, we ended up saving $335 during January, simply be being more mindful of our purchases. In our household, that is a big chunk of change!

GOING FORWARD

We had friends who wondered if taking on a no spend month would simply result in a spending binge directly afterwards. In effect, erasing any progress that was made.

At fifteen days post challenge, I have definitely seen a more relaxed feeling around spending. However, our resolve to be more intentional is still going strong. We were never looking at this experiment as being a one and done event. Rather, we felt that the no spend month could be a jump start to a life long habit. As with any new habit, it will take a while to figure out what works best for us.

We will continue to keep a list of potential purchases, and waiting a few days or even a few weeks before committing to them. I also plan to be careful about sticking to the shopping list when entering those big box stores!

PIN THESE NO SPEND MONTH TIPS

If trying out a no spend month is something you are interested in, be sure to save these tips! I definitely encourage you to give it a try!

INTENTIONAL FAMILY VALENTINE’S DAY IDEAS

This post discusses tips on how to create an intentional family Valentine’s Day, including the ideas we plan to implement for our own holiday, making it a simple time that we can connect as a family.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. And this year, we are looking at things a little differently. We are in the final days of completing a spend free month challenge. A challenge that has been wonderful, and difficult, all at the same time. We have learned a lot as a family, and grown in our abilities to be more intentional about our spending as well as our time.

And so, as we continue our commitment to simple and minimal living, I have thought a lot about what it might mean by way of holiday celebrations.

I can’t say that Valentine’s Day has always been one that we have most anticipated. Like most people, I believe, this time of year we are still a bit tired from all the hustle and bustle of back to back Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. Sure, in the past, we have sent the token candy filled valentines to school friends. We have purchased a few fresh flowers. But that is about it. And I have to admit that even those simple acts have felt more like an obligation than anything else.

A MORE INTENTIONAL IDEA

This year though, we are looking at Valentine’s Day in a whole new light. While advertisers would have us believe that our kids won’t enjoy the day without a ton of sweets, or a giant stuffed teddy bear. And that our spouse will be upset without new jewelry and chocolates. We are challenging those notions. Instead, we are preparing for a holiday that has us connecting and enjoying each other’s company.

The following tips and ideas are what we plan to implement in order to make this a simple and intentional family Valentine’s Day.

INTENTIONAL FAMILY VALENTINE’S DAY

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. See my full disclosure here

DECORATION IDEAS

Decorations have a way of setting the mood of a space. Kids especially enjoy the change of scenery and will pick up on the fact that something special is about to happen. There is definitely no need to go overboard in this department, however.

In fact, I would suggest that you don’t spend any money. Instead, look around your house to find items that might be useful. Red, pink, and white are the classic Valentine’s Day colors – but other accents can work great as well. You might be surprised at the things you find that work perfectly as decor!

I have a few large plastic apothecary jars that I have used for birthday parties in the past. Filling them with red ball ornaments from my Christmas decor stash really brought them to life! A red fabric pillow case was used to anchor the centerpiece to the table.

I also love to find holiday appropriate books to decorate with. You may have a few favorites around the home that you can pull out and use in a display. If not, I suggest visiting your local library. Ours had a wonderful selection of titles with beautiful covers.

Since we don’t have a fireplace in our rental home, the restored cabinet in our dining room served as a makeshift mantle. The books look so cheery sitting on top.

Just Because You’re Mine | Guess How Much I Love You | I Heart You

ACTIVITIES

Having a few fun activities on hand to do together as a family is a great idea. Think about the ages of your children when determining what is appropriate.

FOR YOUNGER KIDS

My two young daughters saw me decorating with books and immediately began asking if I would read them the stories. Of course, reading to children is a great activity to build imagination and vocabulary skills. The bonus is that by sitting down to read, you can get in some extra cuddles!

Other fun activities for younger kids may include blowing bubbles for them to run through, playing tic tac toe, or working on coloring pages together.

FOR OLDER KIDS

Older children may enjoy something a bit more advanced, such as a craft project. Keep costs down by looking through your personal stash of supplies instead of running to the store. Lay all of the items out on the table and let your kid’s creativity run wild!

Most important of all, be sure to sit down with them while they create. Just having you there with them makes it that much more fun for kids. They will enjoy your company, and you are sure to have a lot of fun too!

Some children may be required to make Valentine’s Day boxes for school. This is another fun project that you can help with. Check out these creative box ideas:

Robot Valentine’s Day Box

Hungry Monster Valentine’s Box

Kitty Cat Valentine’s Box

If you really get into the groove, consider also helping the kids make handmade cards to gift their classmates. They are so much more fun than the standard store bought variety. Making them candy free would surely please the other parents as well. The following printable valentines are candy free and oh so cute:

I Spy | Seek + Find

Tic Tac Toe

Bookmark to Color

ACTIVITIES FOR THE FAMILY

There are many fun ways to enjoy activities together on an intentional family Valentine’s Day. If the weather is warm enough, plan a walk or a trip to the park. Volunteer to hold and care for animals at your local Humane Society, or work together to create a delicious four course meal!

FOOD IDEAS

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I’m convinced the sentiment also applies to children. Ours, at least, can’t resist a snack.

For Valentine’s Day, consider cutting food items with a heart shaped cookie cutter. Experiment with different foods. Toast, sandwiches, and even fruit can easily be given this fun shape. Dying foods with natural colors is also a fun idea.

I have found that another easy way to make a snack more special is to serve it in a different way. Try placing the simple snack on the ‘good china’ for example, or letting the kids drink from glass jars with straws. These fancy containers have a way of making the eating experience more fun.

These other fun Valentine’s Day snacks are healthy and interesting eats for kids:

Apple Slice ‘Doughnuts’

Pink Yogurt Parfait

Homemade Heart Tortilla Chips

If a sweet treat is what you’re after, consider making this yummy Valentine’s Day popcorn!

WORDS/ ACTS OF LOVE

Of course, the most important aspect of an intentional family Valentine’s Day is letting everyone know how much you love and care for them.

Offer up plenty of hugs and cuddles. Older children and spouses will appreciate finding small notes of love. Writing on cut out paper hearts adds a special touch and is sure to put a smile on the face of the receiver.

Sitting together as a family and discussing what you love about one another can also be a fun activity.

One of the best ways to show love is by giving your family your time. By simplifying the holiday so that it isn’t such a huge burden, you are allowing yourself more freedom to be fully present.

OTHER INTENTIONAL VALENTINE’S DAY IDEAS

These blog posts have additional tips on how to create an intentional family Valentine’s Day. Be sure to check them out!

What is Valentine’s Day? | Life On Mercedes Drive

Valentine’s Day Made Special | Hydrangea Tree House

DIY Valentine’s Mugs | VanBoven Vintage Farmhouse Living

Creating a Valentine’s Day Everyone Will Remember | Faith + Family Farmhouse

8 Ways to Make Valentine’s Day Special For Your Spouse | Making it Home

DIY Valentine’s Gift Idea | Homemade on our Homestead

PIN THESE VALENTINE’S DAY IDEAS

If you are wanting to make the switch to an intentional family Valentine’s Day, be sure to pin these ideas!

NEW MINIMALISM | BOOK REVIEW

Looking for an inspirational book to read? I might have just found the perfect one! This review of the book New Minimalism discusses the overarching topics and tips presented by the authors. All opinions are my own and I was not compensated in any way.

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. See my full disclosure here

As part of my recent New Years goals, I am looking for inspiration. In particular, in regards to our family’s journey toward minimalism. I know it will be helpful to learn from others who have gone before us. By seeking out people who have been successful in a similar situation, we can be encouraged to continue on.

Right before Christmas break from school, I took our five children to the city library. It was my intention stock up a good supply of reading material to use during the cold days indoors. As we walked in, I noticed a small table set up with books about goal setting, organizing and intentional living. Within that grouping, I spotted the book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. This book has been on my reading wish list for a while now. I quickly grabbed it and put it in the library bag.

Then, I saw another book. One I hadn’t heard of. The book was New Minimalism, written by a pair of friends – Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici. The subtitle of the book drew me in. ‘Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living.’ Yes please! Into the bag it went.

AUTHOR BACKGROUND

Cary and Kyle met through carpooling. Both ladies were beginning their journeys toward a more simple lifestyle, and spent their drive time comparing notes. Through the following months, their friendship began to blossom. So too did their commitment to providing others with this newfound information they had regarding minimalism. Ultimately, the pair began a home organization business that grew into an online presence.

Their website newMinimalism has helped countless clients declutter and organize their lives. Simply put, these gals know what they are writing about. More important than that, they have a passion for their mission.

THE PREMISE OF THE BOOK NEW MINIMALISM

Right from the start of the book, the authors make it clear that they wish to dispel a common misconception about minimalism. That SIMPLICITY was synonymous with SACRIFICE and DISCOMFORT. Through their many years of experience working with people from all walks of life, they have found quite the opposite to be true.

By removing unused items from their lives, their clients have experienced peace and saved money. They have felt liberated and more joyful, and developed more meaningful relationships. I’d say those are all great reasons to embark on a more minimal life!

Throughout the book, the authors are encouraging their readers to look at the aspects of new minimalism as a way to understand your personal values. And, in turn, observing how those values are reflected in your physical space. They offer their clients a simple statement and question.

Your external space reflects your internal state. What does your home say about you?

THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

While working with a variety of personalities through their years as home organizers, Cary and Kyle have recognized four distinct patterns of behavior, or archetypes.

They are careful to note that these archetypes are not mutually exclusive. Rather, they are what people tend toward, depending on the situation. However, you are likely to find that one behavioral pattern is your personal default most of the time.

I found this section of the book particularly insightful and helpful. Understanding the habits that you tend toward will make it easier for you to more effectively minimize clutter in your life.

ARCHETYPE 1: CONNECTED

This person generally has a hard time letting go of personal items that have memories tied to them. They tend to be great listeners, reliable friends, and compassionate. The connected individual is highly sentimental.

Connected people have a hard time letting go of : gifts, handwritten cards, and souvenirs.

ARCHETYPE 2: PRACTICAL

Practical people are logical, data-driven, and methodical. They have a factual way of looking at the world. They find joy in finding creative ways to improve a scenario or solve a problem.

Practical people have a hard time letting go of: art + craft supplies, scrap materials, and anything that might be useful for a future situation.

ARCHETYPE 3: ENERGETIC

This person is creative and in a constant state of learning. A go-getter who has a hard time saying ‘no’ to a anyone who needs help. New projects are irresistible to them.

Energetic people have a hard time letting go of: projects, personal and social commitments.

ARCHETYPE 4: FRUGAL

This person tends to plan for the future, while rooted in the present moment. Frugal people tend to be very intentional about not only how they spend their money, but also their time.

Frugal people have a hard time letting go of: anything with monetary worth or perceived rarity.

This particular part of the book was very eye opening for me. I immediately knew that I fit the Energetic Archetype perfectly. I am often eager to start a new project, but will admit that following through is sometimes difficult. There is just something in me that loves the thrill of the creative beginning of a project. The finishing of the project isn’t as exciting. To be honest, often times by that point in the process, I am already looking toward the next new thing that can be started.

The second archetype that I align with is Practical. Because I love starting up new projects, I like to have supplies readily available. This is why my craft room is a giant mess, and in need of a major declutter.

I read the above descriptions to my husband, and he claims to most relate to both the Practical and Frugal archetypes. Absolutley, I agree.

The authors do a wonderful job of providing questions you can ask yourself while you are decluttering and minimizing, based on what behaviors you tend toward. By knowing your archetype, I truly believe you will understand how better to simplify your life.

THE DECLUTTERING PROCESS

The authors of New Minimalism offer a process of decluttering your spaces. Similar to the KonMari method of decluttering, this book recommends that items be dealt with by category. Seven specific categories are outlined. In addition, they recommend that items be dealt with in a specific order. They always start client decluttering sessions with clothing and end with furniture and home decor.

Their reason for the particular order is outlined in the book. Each category is given a section of the book, full of tips and best practices.

The authors also discuss how to be successful in the overall decluttering process. They offer encouragement on preparing, both mentally and physically, for the task at hand and include tips on how to enlist help.

CLEANING PRODUCT SOLUTIONS

Through their years in the industry, Cary and Kyle have encountered a wide variety of cleaning products. What they have come to find is that simple products are often the best. As a result, they have developed their very own formulas. Recipes for homemade wood polish, shower + toilet scrub, and an all purpose cleaner are all available in the book.

I definitely want to make the switch to a more natural way of cleaning, and will be giving these recipes a try! It would be amazing if I could make my cleaning routine at Arrow Hill Cottage toxic free!

NEW MINIMALISM DESIGN PRINCIPLES

This book offers up twelve design principles to think about when putting your new decluttered space back together. I won’t be writing them all here, but I do want to share the two that I love most.

The first is that we should redefine our definition of ‘full’. New Minimalism defines ‘full’ as a state when the confines of a drawer, cabinet, or closet have ample space to be seen and can be accessed with ease. Be mindful that when you overfill your spaces, items will be easily forgotten and, therefore, not useful. For example, I witnessed this firsthand when decluttering our linen closet. It was shocking to me that a very personal and special item was hidden below piles of unused towels and blankets. Never again.

The second principle that I plan to practice is to ‘allow one to stand for many.’ In a nutshell, this principle is addressing meaningful keepsakes from our past. The authors challenge their readers to seek out pieces that represent special memories, instead of trying to save everything.

There is a wonderful quote in the book by decluttering expert Karen Kingston. She stated: “When you are surrounded by more than 50 percent of belongings that remind you of something from your past, you will continue to live in the past.” That’s a powerful statement!

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE BOOK NEW MINIMALISM

This book is a thorough approach to decluttering and simplifying your life. It is not your average organizing book. The fact that it offers holistic insights to the WHY behind the clutter makes it so much more. The authors are insightful and clear on their thoughts. However, they also recognize the dynamics of human nature.

I very much appreciate that the book isn’t laid out as a ‘one size fits all’ formula for each and every situation. We are all unique and, as such, our journeys toward minimalism will look different.

In conclusion, I most definitely recommend this book. It is one of the best I have read in this genre!

VIDEO BOOK REVIEW OF NEW MINIMALISM

Watch me talk about my thoughts on this book. I am planning on implementing what I have learned in my own life, and go into that more deeply in this video.

PIN THIS BOOK REVIEW

If you are considering a minimalism journey of your own, I highly recommend this book. Pin this image as a reminder to buy this book, or borrow it from the library. It will be worth your efforts, I promise!

Again, the book is New Minimalism, and can be purchased HERE.

MINIMALIST RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

A new year means a new perspective and goals for the future. Today I am outlining five minimalist resolutions that I am setting to start 2019 out on the right foot!

I have just finished up a four week series of declutter challenges. The process was hard work, but I have to admit that the house is looking pretty amazing. It’s impressive to see what even just one month of focused intention can do! I want to keep the momentum going into the new year, and have come up with a series of minimalist resolutions to help me reach my goal.

FIND INSPIRATION

Since we are just at the very beginning of our minimalism journey, it can be daunting at times to think about how far we have to go. Reading about others who have gone before us and seen success is going to be key. Finding inspiration is the first of my minimalist resolutions for the new year.

*This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases*

BOOKS

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I have been wanting to read this book for a while, as it has received many great reviews. The author, Marie Kondo, was the one who developed the KonMari decluttering method. I used that method for one of my declutter challenges and found it quite effective.

Marie’s philosophy on decluttering has to do with keeping only the items that bring you joy. She has partnered with Netflix to create an eight episode mini series, where she teaches others to use her techniques. The series starts on January first, and you can be sure I will be watching!

Minimalism for Families. Because we are a large family, I am particularly interested in techniques to help our brood along on this journey. This book got good reviews not only because of the practical tips that are offered, but also because it helps the reader understand the ‘why’ behind reducing clutter.

BLOGS

The Minimal Mom: The writer of the blog, Dawn, is a fellow Minnesotan. She and her husband are raising 4 kids, and I feel like she is super relate-able. They have gone through an extreme decluttering process that has resulted in a new and more simple way of life for their family. Dawn also has a great YouTube channel with many videos that further explain the techniques they use. I definitely recommend you check out their laundry system video – a unique approach that works for them!

YOU TUBE

Break the Twitch: Of course, there is a ton of videos about minimalism on YouTube, and it will surely serve as a source of inspiration in the new year. One channel that I have recently subscribed to and am loving is Break the Twitch. Anthony uses humor to teach about why mimimalism is effective. He shows his audience that mimimalism is more than just eliminating physical clutter. It also has to do with a mindset shift in order to live intentionally.

NO SPEND MONTH

My second resolution is in collaboration with another amazing YouTuber. Shannon Torrens and her family have been walking down the path toward minimalism for the past year or so. It is really impressive to see all that they have accomplished in such a short time! Follow along with their journey by visiting her channel.

Shannon and I both recognize that a challenge can be a great motivator to reach a goal. Because of this, we decided to make January a ‘no spend month’. We will attempt to buy only consumable products such as food and toiletries for the entire month of January.

Doing this for the first month of the new year will be a great way to reset our spending habits. It is also likely to be quite eye opening. I will be recording how many ‘want items’ went un-purchased as well as the amount of money that was saved.

I am personally calling this our ‘Happy (NO) New Year Challenge’. Feel free to join us!

I’m excited to have Shannon as my accountability partner this month. Be sure to view her personal New Years resolution video and blog post, and check back here at the end of January to see how we both did!

FINISH DECLUTTERING

Of all of my minimalist resolutions, this is likely to be the most challenging. We have lived in our rental farmhouse for over four years now. There are still boxes that remain unopened from our move, sitting in a storage closet. And, of course, we have accumulated more items during the time we have lived here. Because Arrow Hill Cottage is smaller than the rental house, we need to be very diligent about which items we decide to keep.

I would like to have the declutter process finished by the time we break ground on the new house. This adds a bit of urgency to this resolution. We should be breaking ground in the spring – April or May. That gives me only 3 or 4 months to get the job done.

Thankfully, the December challenges gave me a great jump start. I definitely plan to use some of the techniques I used to tackle the rest of the rooms in the rental house.

GARAGE SALE

My husband really hates garage sales. He doesn’t feel that they are with the effort. However, with all the decluttering that is about to happen, we will have plenty to sell!

I finally got him to accept the idea by mentioning that the proceeds from the sale could be used toward items for the new house. And so, the fourth of my minimalist resolutions is to have one big garage sale near the end of the summer.

It is likely that we will be preparing to move near the end of the summer, or early Fall. That just happens to be prime garage sale time in our area. We are currently storing all the items for the sale in a large upstairs closet we have lovingly named ‘the sell room.’ Everything will be moved out to the garage for the sale. Items that don’t sell will be immediately donated.

Not having to pack everything into boxes and move, then sort again at the new house, is considered a win-win in my book!

ONE IN ONE OUT

After the whole house declutter and massive garage sale, we need to move forward by keeping things clutter free. It would be the biggest disappointment to put in all the hard work only to fill up the new house.

And so, my final minimalist resolution for 2019 is to practice the one in / one out rule. Essentially this means that before bringing any new item into our home, I will think about which item it will be replacing. The replaced item will then be donated, so that we do not continue to accumulate over time.

Items should be of like value or type. For example, purchasing a brand new power tool and eliminating a small hair accessory would be bending the rules. My year round capsule wardrobe will be easy to keep in check, since I want to keep it at the same number of items.

It would be really extreme to catalog and number every single item in our entire home. Instead, I plan to always be mindful of the things we do own, so that we don’t end up with duplicate items that serve the same purpose.

Of course, there will be a period of time while we are setting up the new house with bedding, curtains, and some new furniture. This will be the exception to the rule however, and for the most part this process should be complete within a few months of moving in.

I’m excited to see how the one in / one out mentality helps me to think critically about which items are brought into our home.

THOUGHTS ON MY MINIMALIST RESOLUTIONS

We are filled with hope and anticipation going into 2019. Our family has been dreaming about building our forever house for years and years. Knowing that it is finally going to become a reality is beyond exciting.

Not only will the house be a special tailor-made place for our family to live, it will also be a clean slate for us. A chance to start over in some respects, and to create the family life we have been craving. A slower paced, intentional outlook on life – where we have deeper connections with one another. As our kids grow, these connections are going to be even more important.

I am hopeful that this year’s minimalism resolutions will be a jump start into even more positive changes in the coming years.

OTHER NEW YEARS GOALS

I have heard before that a goal is just a wish unless you write it down. And so as an effort to keep these things at the forefront of my mind, I am leaving them here to look back on when I need motivation.

FOR MYSELF

Taking more time to rest, and enjoy the simple things in life

Saying ‘no’ to events and commitments that add unnecessary stress

Waking up each day with a positive attitude and clear mind

Cooking healthy meals for my family

FOR MY FAMILY

Spending more quality time together

Craig had an awesome idea, which we will be implementing on January 1st. We are calling it ‘Screen Free Saturday’. On the first Saturday of each month we will shut off all of our devices and connect as a family. We envision cooking all of our meals together, playing board games, and just getting to know each other better. Everyone in the family is really looking forward to this!

Reading books together

Leading up to Christmas, I read an advent story book aloud to the family. The kids all enjoyed it so much that they were constantly asking for me to read extra each night. I think it would be fun to start a book series that all of our children, ages 5 to 12, could understand and be interested in. One option I have thought of is the Little House on the Prairie Series. If you have any recommendations for captivating books in this age range, please let me know!

Celebrating the value that each member brings to the family

As a large family, it is sometimes difficult for each member to find their place. Even though it isn’t intended, some members definitely receive more attention than others. I would love to do some family exercises that could help us each recognize that even though we are all different, we bring something unique that helps our family as a whole.

FOR THE BLOG

I am hopeful that the things I have learned in 2018 will help me to grow the blog even more in the coming year. More specifically, I am going to be working on putting out great content that will be helpful to my readers. This minimalism journey that our family is on will be a big source of topics for the blog, but I will also be writing about healthy meals, organizing tips, and of course home design ideas.

Are you making New Years Resolutions? If so, I would love to hear about them and encourage you throughout the year! Here’s to a wonderful 2019!