Today is ‘National Walk Out Of School Day‘. It is an event that is part protest and part memorial – a way to acknowledge and mourn the loss of the 17 victims killed in the most recent, though sadly no longer uncommon, mass school shooting.

As you might imagine, this post is not at all about the building of our new house, but something altogether entirely different.

The building of our children

When I was a junior in high school, I remember filling out the job quality worksheet for the counselor. It was used as a way to direct the students who weren’t sure what path they would be taking after high school – College? Working in a trade? What industry? I’m sure there were plenty of my classmates who found the results of this worksheet useful, but I didn’t need any direction. I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to be. An architect.

I wanted to design buildings and watch them be built

And I did just that. I studied diligently for five years and received a Bachelor of Architecture degree and a final GPA of 3.99. I dare say that I was near the top of my graduating class. I loved everything about architecture and was ready to start putting my education to practice. I easily landed a job in my desired community and set to work.

Two years later, I got pregnant

Craig and I had agreed that when our first child arrived, I would become a stay at home mom. I remember how nervous I was to tell my boss. By all accounts, I was on track to reach my ultimate goal of becoming an architect – and suddenly, that plan was being derailed. Regret was filling my mind. Am I throwing away my career? What will my colleagues think about this decision? Is being a stay at home parent really important?

The months leading up to the birth of {D} were full of mixed emotions; And the day we left the hospital with him snuggled in the car-seat next to me – I sobbed. My life had done a literal 180.

Over the course of the next 11 years, we added 4 more bundles of love to our family – both through birth and the beauty of adoption. I found a good balance of being able to meet our children’s needs and to feed my passion for design – working from home for various architecture firms, on a very part time basis.

Here, 11 years later – I can reflect on that major decision

Was it worth it? I would say absolutely. I didn’t realize it then, but I was making a shift from the building of structures to the building of my children.

Children need parents to guide them, shape them, teach them right from wrong. They need someone there to pick them up if they fall, to catch the warning signs of depression or violent behavior. To provide them with a moral compass.

Sadly, I feel that too many children today are thrown into the waters of life and told to swim on their own – to find their own way in the dark. Parents are busy with their careers and in many cases are working hard to provide their children with every opportunity – Sport instruction, music lessons, the newest video game. In reality, what children need is time with their parents. Presence over presents.

What has been happening in schools is tragic. It’s political. It’s senseless. I don’t plan on getting into any sort of debate on the topic except for this one statement I think we can all agree on: It shouldn’t be this way.

Each time one of these heinous crimes is committed, we sit and wait for the media to report what we know will surely be the case – these are people, kids, whose warning signs were missed. They were troubled and ignored. Their emotional and mental needs were not met.

In response to today’s walk out – there is an additional movement.

WALK UP

Walk up to someone who is considered an outcast and let them know they have a friend. Walk up to the person sitting alone and start a conversation. Walk up to the person you have been arguing with and agree to resolve your differences. Walk up – and as a society we can wake up. We are all in this together.

Walk up to your children and hug them. Tell them you love them. Encourage your children. Speak life to them. Give them the building blocks to become a productive member of community. It all starts at home.

I understand that being a stay at home parent isn’t a path that is necessarily available (or desirable) for everyone; But personally, I will forever be grateful that it is the direction our family chose. And even though I may not be designing award winning structures, I feel that my contributions are equally important.

Long after the sky scrapers and monuments crumble and decay, humanity will continue on. It is built of stronger things.